Parshas VaYaytsay continues and develops the theme of chivalry which was started with the selection of Rivka for Isaac. The story of the romance of Jacob starts with Rivka expressing to her husband Yitzchak concern that Yaakov will marry a local Canaanite woman as did his brother Esau. The idea is chilling and his father tells him to flee to Aram and take a wife from the daughters of his maternal uncle Lavan. The stolen blessing has elicited a death threat from Esav, and even though he will calm down, it cannot be safely from ignored.
It could be that the time for Yaakov to marry arrived independently of the severe altercation with his brother. It could also be that marriage provides Yaakov with a convenient excuse to leave gracefully. Another possibility is that things like this herald that the time, when someone should get married, has arrived. Like many passages in the Chumash, the reader is invited to meditate on its meaning. Similar ideas are aroused with the story of Abraham marrying off Isaac immediately following the story of the death of Sarah.
Like the stories of Rivka imeinu and Moshe rabbeinu, the initial encounter occurs at a well of water and involves an extraordinary event. In the case of Rivka it is her extraordinary act of drawing water for ten thirsty camels. With Moshe he fights off shepherds who were stealing the place of Jethro's daughters at the well. Here Yaakov exercises extraordinary physical strength by rolling a boulder off the opening of the well, when normally many people were needed to accomplish this task. These extraordinary acts are signs that these are matches made in heaven. There is a tendency for impulsive actions; Yaakov kisses Rachel and the servant of Abraham gives Rivka expensive jewelry without knowing who she is. On the other hand the daughters of Yisro are oblivious to Moshe's great service, but Yisro himself recognizes there is something here.
The commentaries often interpret everything Lavan does as for the bad and Lavan is definitely a problematic character. However a simple reading of the text would be that he is a mixture of good and bad. He warmly welcomes Yaacov into his home at a time of need and is happy to give him his daughter in marriage. Yaakov's offer in exchange to work for seven years as a shadchan fee is clearly misguided. However the idea is that Rachel in his eyes is priceless. Also the issue of money is not important. Essentially Yaakov is saying that he wishes to join Lavan's household and will trust him to make wise and fair financial decisions. The difficulty as to why he wished to wait seven years remains.
The chasing after Yaakov, when he flees, shows the Laban wants him to remain in his household. The claim that Jacob's children are his children shows that he accepts them and loves them. On a certain level he sees Jacob's wealth as his own even though it is not under his control. In the end he wishes Yaakov well on his return to Canaan. To be exact Lavan is greedy and dictatorial, and his use of shrunken heads as talismans cannot be accepted.
Rachel is the beloved soulmate of Yaakov and at the center of his relationships. Even so there are many dramatic turns. Against all expectations, he winds up married to another three women among them Rachel's sister Leah. Rachel is barren while her fellow wives conceive easily. In the end though she gives birth to the essential sons of Jacob. Yosef has the personality and image of Jacob and is the new generation of his soul. Benjamin is the embodiment of the blessing of the land of Israel.
The greatness of Yaakov is his ability to deal with difficult people and difficult situations. It comes out that Rachel brings out and develops this characteristic as well as the best that is in Jacob. This is one of lessons about family relationships learned from this story. There are other important lessons as well for example. One should be a part of their soulmate's family. Unusual situations may be signs of good things to come. The ideas of a well of water and the land of Israel are recurring themes. Water is often compared to Torah. It could be that finding one's beloved is an aspect of a path to religion and the promised land.
לע"נ האמא מלכה בת חיים ז"ל נלב"ע טז ניסן תשנ"ח
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