The Mishna discusses the issue of people dining together. The basic tone is that having a meal with friends is desireable. Brachos 7:1 states that three people who have eaten a meal with bread together are obligated to say Grace after Meals together. This is called a mizumin (מזומן). When there is a mizumen, grace is preceded by a short invitation. One person leads a four line responsive Hebrew reading which may include a phrase in Yiddish or Aramaic. After that the normal sequence of the prayers is recited.
This is not done with a chance meeting of people rather they initially said words to the effect of let’s go out to eat. When this is done, an obligation is created to stay with each other until the conclusion of the meal. If one member of the party wishes to leave but the others do not, it is considered impolite for him to be a flat leaver. However if they really are friends they will consider each other’s needs and sensibilities. Coercive tactics stronger than a discouraging word, though, would not be acceptable.
A mizuman should be comprised of peers. Typically it means three adult Jewish men. This would exclude women, slaves, minors, and non-Jews. Women and men are not considered peers. The Shulchan Aruch (199:7) poskins that women may make a mizumin together, however this is not commonly done.
The mishna mentions Samaritans as well. The Samaritans were not ethnic Jews but lived in Judea during the Second Temple period. Although they converted to Judaism their motives were suspect. They performed mitzvahs but not all of them. For these reasons there was a doubt whether they should be accepted by the general community. In addition they were often uneducated. The Talmud views them negatively.
The good Samaritan, though, is an icon of Christian western culture because of story by Jesus of Nazareth. In it he asks concerning the verse, “You will love your companion as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18), who is your neighbor? He then gives a parable in which a man is collapsed on the side of the road. A cohen passes by and ignores him but a Samaritan helps him. The conclusion is that a Samaritan who helps a person, when he is in need, is his true companion. Also that in regards to friendship the test is caring for each other and not education, lineage, or status. The implication is that a scholar who ignores another’s distress is lower than an ignoramus.
In any case for the purpose of Grace after Meals one would set aside doubts about a Samaritan and accept him as part of the group. However a later mishna (8:8) permits a Jew to say amen automatically to the blessing of another Jew. With a Samaritan, though, one would only say amen after carefully listening to be sure that he really did say the blessing.
The Gemara brings two verses from the Tanakh in support of the practice of making a mizumin. The first is, “Declare the greatness of Hashem with me and let us exalt his name together”, (Psalm 34:4). The second is, “When I proclaim the name Hashem, give glory to our G-d”.The idea in both of them is the use of drama to arouse religious feelings. That means that when one person initiates a religious precept and it is good when he is joined by others. An example would be a responsive reading during services. In this case it is to thank G- d for the fine meal that has been eaten. The fundamental idea is that it is good for friends to dine together and this would include starting and finishing together. Also the comradery and refinement finds favor in the eyes of heaven. And when it is attached to a mitzvah is a sanctification of G-d’s name.
לע"נ הסבא אהרן בן יוסף ז"ל נלב"ע כז טבת תשכ"ו
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